In the Venn diagram of men and jewelry, there used to be but a narrow overlapping sliver reserved exclusively for rock stars and Johnny Depp, those few shining examples of men granted public permission to adorn themselves with more sparkle than a Vegas showgirl—without jeopardizing their masculinity. Up until recently, that is, when this space began rapidly expanding to welcome men from all walks of life. The proof is everywhere: A dating app swipe session yields innumerable man-bunned surfers displaying their tanned, tattooed, accessorized forearms; a visit to a Williamsburg, Brooklyn, bar has me asking a guy where he purchased the coin pendant hanging from his neck (so that I might snap one up as well); a ride up an escalator in a midtown office building reveals a banker channeling his inner Burning Man aficionado via carefully curated Miansai bracelets. (Let’s not even get started on Depp, whose accessories game officially jumped the shark when he collected a People’s Choice Award with no less than four safety pin–style earrings—in one ear!) And while I’m all about men embracing fashion, this particular manifestation leaves me slightly conflicted: Is mutual accessory approval yet another evaluation criteria to add to the already complex endeavor that is modern dating?

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Note to self: Never buy a French woman a water pitcher for Christmas.

Last December, a Parisian girlfriend received a simple glass carafe from a man she had just started dating, his reasoning being that she was “always thirsty.” This well-intended household object served as a running joke for months to come, earning the poor fellow endless mockery among her inner circle. The gift, she explained, was “impersonal, generic, and banal,” making it the worst of all French evils. Turns out, holiday gifting is yet another endeavor that the French have elevated to an intricate art form, one that doesn’t stand for shortcuts—or, evidently, water pitchers.

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