Written by Candice, Australian writer living in Paris and penning the blog Paris is Just Not That Into You.
Illustrated via Jordan Barrett, Australian model living on yachts (or, in Internet speak, “living his best life”).
When picturing an Aussie guy, how many of you immediately envision a tall, tanned, muscular, blonde dude with a surfboard in one hand and a beer in the other?
You are not entirely wrong.
While Australian men are more known for six-pack abs than sophistication, they do have some lovely traits that make it worth digging below the beach bum surface. Amongst them are straightforwardness, sincerity and loyalty – all of which are scarce in other parts of the world, making Aussie guys just as much of an endangered species as, say, koala bears.
That said, here are a few things you need to know before finding your very own Aussie!
They are very laid back
Ever heard that turn of phrase, “no worries”? In Australia this is not merely an expression – it’s a way of life. Aussie guys like to take it easy, they are not planners and they certainly don’t pursue girls in the same way as, for instance, the French. Not receiving a barrage of texts or a stream of consecutive invitations from an Aussie doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s not interested in you. It simply means that you may have to take matters in your own hands.
On the bright side, since there is no taboo about the girl making an extra effort, you never need to stress about texting a guy first. In fact, there isn’t really much that you need to be concerned about when it comes to dating Aussie guys – “no worries” is the name of the game, after all!
Jordan certainly isn’t worried
They drink a lot
For Aussie guys, drinking is synonymous to ‘catching up with their mates’ or ‘having fun’, the latter being the ultimate raison d’être of Australians in general. While you don’t need to drain three bottles of wine to match his beer intake, definitely be prepared to contribute to the “fun” vibe!
Take notes!
They have a great sense of humor
Since we have already established that having fun is the number one pastime in Australia, it would only make sense that these guys have a great, self-deprecating sense of humor. If you want to hit it off with an Aussie, you need to know how to make a joke at your own expense. The thin-skinned and overly serious need not apply.
They speak a different language
You may have thought that Australians speak English, but let me to ask you if you would understand the following sentence: “Hey love, my tradie mates are having a barbie this arvo – would be sweet as if you could come with. I’ll bring the bevos, she’ll be right.” Translation: “My trader friends are having a barbeque this evening and it would be lovely if you would accompany me. Don’t worry about bringing alcohol, I’ll gladly bring enough for both of us”. Don’t worry, you aren’t a couple of kangaroos loose in the top paddock (you aren’t stupid) – Aussies love their slang so you had better brush up should you wish to follow what the hell they’re on about (what they are trying to say).
Some other words that could be useful:
Pash = kissing with tongue
Root = sexual intercourse, only works as a noun
They love their sports… and you should (pretend to) as well
While the sport of choice varies by region (think Australian rules football in Victoria, rugby in Queensland, hockey in Western Australia), the common denominator is always the same. Aussie men take sports very seriously. During on-season they have an absolute obligation to watch their team play once a week, as well as niggling moral pressure to watch as many other games as possible. Trying to get between an Aussie man and his sport would be an instant red card – pun intended – so you might as well join in the fun (there it is, fun, again!) and tag along with him to a game. Insider tip: just make sure it’s not cricket, as these games can go on for several days. Virtually nothing happens, and the players aren’t even wearing shorts.
They are men of simple pleasures
Don’t expect an Aussie guy to be a chic dresser, or an art connoisseur, or a Don Juan with a rose in hand. In fact, you should count yourself lucky if he turns up in a shirt with sleeves or closed footwear! Likewise, you shouldn’t rock up to a date with an Aussie in your Balenciaga booties, which would not only be wasted on him but may cause him to perceive you as “too done up”. Remember, Aussie guys like their women just like they like everything else: happy and laid-back.
They are loyal and good-natured
Everything Aussie men lack in heightened aesthetics, they make up for in authenticity. They don’t play mind games (I’m looking at you, French guys!), it takes a lot to upset them, and you always know where you stand with them. Ever heard of the Tortoise and the Hare proverb? Well, that’s an Australian guy in a nutshell. He takes his time, but, when he does say something heartfelt, you can be sure he means it, and that he will probably feel the same way in the foreseeable future. And, who knows? Maybe you will as well!
You know, one day
Pretty on point! My ex is Australian and it all matches up.
No, I don’t agree with this article completely. Great sense of humor, yes, but being laid-back is more trying to portray this sense of “nothing bothers me” even if something does.
Loyal and good-natured? Aussie men aren’t loyal, and domestic abuse is a huge problem Down Under.
They drink A LOT. And I mean 30 times more than someone from the UK that it’s a serious problem down there.
Also only in Australia have I met guys who were very attractive but emotionally numb.
How or why like someone when you can’t connect because empathy isn’t valued.
Laura, I concur. Been married to an Aussie for 20 years whom I met in Australia after dating several Australians… emotionally numb, binge drinkers is right. My Aussie had a lot of growing to do to make it work with an American woman while choosing to live in America, as well!
Americans take ourselves very seriously, which I find is conversely very intriguing and an eventual turn off for a lot of Australians in general. Americans are often straight forward in a soft, friendly way, and in mixed company I often had this interpreted as romantic interest – lots of mixed signals and confused Aussies of both genders from this particular American trait. I had guys wanting to introduce me to their folks and showing me their baby pictures after one pash! For real, the baby pictures thing happened a few times… (?) I think it may be because Americans are very warm and are generally interested in people and Australian guys just eat it up because, as you so aptly said, the Australian empathy quotient is all around missing in the population. “Strike a light! Someone actually cares about what I think and feel?!”
Americans beware: Aussies love knocking someone down, (tall poppy syndrome) and then say, “aw, mate, just pullin’ ya tit”. The article refers to it as “self-deprecating sense of humor”. This type of sly bullying gets boring after awhile, though, when they can’t emotionally keep up with the overall American heightened sense of feeling for others and issues.
And the accent; they way they talk is intriguing and very cute to decipher, for awhile. Until you get into an argument. Then that accent sounds like a nasty pirate ready to rip you to shreds. Just sayin’.
On the plus side, Aussies can be very sexy in a basic, rolled out bed, curious about you in an intense, steamy sort of way. They don’t do the posing conservative bro thing that American guys do. American guys like to show off in a flashy way that Australian guys just don’t. Aside from Bondi, Aussie blokes take their shirts off because its hot out and they want to go for a swim. They’re taught from a very young age to cover up outside to protect from skin cancer. and they take it seriously.
Aussie man fashion sense is very relaxed and pared down to the bare essentials. Thongs and surf wear, work uniform and DBs. A clean shirt (maybe clean undies?) and a splash of body spray for a night at the pub. I admit it was, and still is, refreshing to feel like I was actually preferred ‘as-is’ in basic clothing. I discovered that doing too much by way of make up and fancy labels made me seem dressy and unapproachable. It might be down to a lot of Australians growing up in country areas and suburbs where the local K Mart is where everyone gets their fashion. Americans have access to SO MUCH by way of high quality goods for cheap. We take it for granted. They don’t experience this and perhaps make it less a priority for presenting themselves to the world. Might ask my husband if he agrees…
Business attire is a completely different thing, though. Must dress to the nines and sweat it out in the hot summers!
And be ready to support the idea of social support programs and protect the environment. They are the backbone of their society and a highly valued point of pride and point of distinction from other western cultures for many Aussies.
Aussies are undoubtedly fun to be around. Life with an Aussie is like being invited to a non-stop BBQ. They’re smiley and welcoming and generous. They have more fun with a few beers and bottles of wine in them and assume everyone else feels the same way. You’ll win an Aussie’s heart by buying him a few Crown Royals and hanging around with the mates while everyone sucks down a carton or two of EB (Emu Bitter) on a Saturday arvo. If you like glossing over your troubles and not dwell too much on problems, then an Aussie is for you!
Like all places there are sub-cultures in Australia – city slickers, jobos, country people, Greek & Italian families, new immigrants from South Africa, Asia and so on. Don’t even get me started on Kiwis – they are unique, too! Within these groups there are bound to be differences. My experience is with the primarily anglo group that I call family and friends.
Best of luck in life and love everyone!
Do you speak of the stereotypes you only know that only you was in a relationship with? Or you lable a entire country off men to be like that as if they all the same?
I’m Just curious. As I find what you stated to be a load off crap. I believe you may have had one or two bad experiences with the person you was with and only the friends that was only related to them.
Not all Anglo Aussies are like that. And not all drink alcohol and get waisted or bring out the corny jokes as you so claim. Theirs many people happily married with Aussie men too.
Are you the same as every American girl? Are you Black? Like saying You must be a criminal because you’re black. Just like you lable every Aussie guy to be the same stereotypes.
I’m a Aussie guy. And I’m nothing like what you described.
Jana, I’m so glad we concur!
Australians take themselves very seriously, too — it’s just that they are very laid-back in some areas while very high-strung in other areas.
While yes, there are plenty of positives which you all mention and do them justice, I just feel like Australian culture socializes Australian men to be sociopaths and psychopaths, and that kind of trade-off is really really dangerous.
Sorry but this made me laugh: “Aussies are undoubtedly fun to be around. Life with an Aussie is like being invited to a non-stop BBQ. They’re smiley and welcoming and generous. They have more fun with a few beers and bottles of wine in them and assume everyone else feels the same way.
You’ll win an Aussie’s heart by buying him a few Crown Royals and hanging around with the mates while everyone sucks down a carton or two of EB (Emu Bitter) on a Saturday arvo. If you like glossing over your troubles and not dwell too much on problems, then an Aussie is for you!”
Right, well yes. It’s fun to be around a bunch community-minded psychopaths who think it’s their RIGHT to be envious AND tear other people down (tall poppy syndrome, like you said) because they keep their community in check. So what is he drinks heaps? So what if he undermines EVERY. SINGLE. THING. you do?
He’s a riot, right?
I also found that Australian men are so very concerned if a woman is with them because of their money (because it’s such a privilege to spend your life with a miner, HEALTHY!) but they will often target and suck up to American women (especially Southern women) because it’s their lifelong dream to immigrate to America.
Even though it’s funny bashing America and cracking jokes about 9/11, most of them dream about living in the US!
I don’t think Aussies will ever measure to American and French men who, while not perfect, have more to offer than intrusiveness, bullying and straight up psychopath behavior.
To anyone reading, beware of Australian sociopaths.
Out of all men I’ve dated, Australians very literally the most dangerous and most prone to violence, emotional and physical abuse — it’s just not the first thing they’re keen to show.
Hey! I was reading your comment & I heard you mention the whole “Australian men kissing up to American women, Southern women especially,” and I was just wondering why Southern women specifically? I’m Southern myself, born and raised in Tennessee & I’ve got the accent to prove it to y’all! I was just interested as to why we are especially targeted.
Not all.men are the same though. You speak from experience you may had, or only known off a few Aussie men. Not all Aussie guys drinks. Not every Aussie guy is violent. Or have BBQ every chance they get. Theirs a lot off people who are happily married or partnerd with Anglo Aussie guys. You just stereo type with only some men you know off.
I’m an Australian girl and Australian men are the worst. I’ve lived in England for two years and found English men so much more emotionally available, easier to get in a relationship with and they are also more focused in getting married. Obviously you will get those that aren’t, but for a majority of them they are really lovely warm guys.
Australian men are obsessed with their mates, binge drink, more interested in getting laid & the domestic violence here is so high with 1 woman per week getting murdered by their partner. They also strongly believe that a woman’s role is to breed, clean & look after them and the kids. I’d advise any girl particularly foreign ones, to avoid Australian men.
Really? Not all Aussies are the same. I can tell foreigners to not bother with Aussie girls too for a million reasons. But I won’t, because not all Aussie girls are the same.
I feel like I’m wasting my single life in Australia. The guys here don’t approach women and prefer to look uninterested. When they actually do speak to you it’s very likely they are drunk. They play games and generally it’s a land of man child. Whatever you do avoid dating an Aussie.
Not all off us are the same. Maybe it’s the people you are around are the problem. Or maybe your choice of guy is the problem. Are you someone with a check list? That is a real turn of for Aussie guys too. We kinda treat people how we find them.