Ask a Matchmaker: What do Women and Men Really Want?

Off the Record · by Emily Holmes Hahn

Remember that scene in What Women Want when Mel Gibson is granted the ability to tap into women’s inherent desires? Well, that’s how Emily Holmes Hahn of LastFirst Matchmaking feels on a regular basis. The sounding board to the romantic preferences of New York’s single set, she generously volunteered to let us in on the perennial mystery: what is it that we are all looking for?!

What Women Want

1. Confidence. All the women we meet at LastFirst are seeking a confident man. There are many formal theories on this, but I ultimately think that women want partners who inspire them to embody the best version of themselves. Insecure men tend to either become pushovers or project their insecurities onto their significant others.

Marina: Just beware of the false bravados that tend to crumble at the first sign of a problem!

What I’ve Learned in my 30s (Thus Far)

Musings of the Mind · by Marina Khorosh

Le photo by Caroline Owens

Two years ago, I turned thirty, feeling completely on top of my game. I had a new boyfriend who had just gifted me with a fancy trip to Asia. I had friends, family and a studded Wang dress to celebrate in. I had no regrets and enough debaucherous memories to get me through a lifetime of domestic mundanity. I had an exciting new career opportunity. In my mind, all the puzzle pieces were in the palm of my hand and life would easily fall into place.

Since then, I have been through two breakups, one real loss, one real love, sleepless nights, awful dates, amazing trips – enough interchanging light and darkness to make life feel like a damn marinière. Your early thirties are exciting, fascinating, fast – the stakes are higher, the game is more challenging, and there is so much less time to waste on bullshit. The blazing flag of your twenties – assurance – is constantly knocked down by new knowledge and theories, forcing you to evolve. The more you know, the less you really know.

Here are a few things I have on lockdown so far. Forgive me if I change my mind about them tomorrow. Read More

Monster’s Ball: A Trick to Dealing with the A**holes Within

Musings of the Mind · by Marina Khorosh

I will start with the (chronological) end of the story: I recently went through a breakup. It was a tough yet clean-cut, with enough clarity to know that it was the right decision. I dealt with it like somebody who had been through a breakup before (It’s like riding a bicycle! Through hell!) I ran, cried, drank, danced, posted dumb things for attention. I kept a running iPhone note where I recorded all my fleeting thoughts and emotions – which, by the way, seemed to change at supersonic speed. I made conclusions, then made peace with the conclusions. I did the steps.

And yet, there was still something that kept on sabotaging the process. Something disgustingly familiar, telling me that, perhaps, I just hadn’t been enough – pretty enough, smart enough, patient enough – enough to be adored until the golden years. Lo and behold: my Ego had returned.

The Dbag Dating Guide to German Men

Typecasting · by Marina Khorosh

Let’s face it: the mention of German men doesn’t evoke much passion. Never have I seen a friend break into a dreamy smile en route to Berlin, or wax poetic about some German dreamboat she had just men. German men always seem a bit like German food – you’re sure it’s fine, maybe even good, but you don’t consciously seek out to experience it.

This past August, I attended a dinner with about eight tall, handsome German guys. It was a great evening of learning all about raves and DJ culture, debating societal responsibilities, and almost signing up for an Ayahuasca ceremony – the stuff East Berlin is made of. The Germans were friendly and hospitable – and yet, as men, they remained a complete mystery, which made me even more determined to decipher them.

Fast-forward two months, a friend generously offered to connect me with a few expats with extensive German dating experience. I was secretly hoping that I would stumble across breakthrough revelations that would point towards a nation of deep thinkers and closeted romantics – after all, this is the country that once gave us Nietzsche and Beethoven! Alas, my findings were slightly different. Without further ado, here are some key things I learned about the Deutsch.

Matchmaking in the Time of Swiping, ‘Dating Greed’ and #MeToo

Off the Record · by Marina Khorosh

You come home from a first date. You deflate into your couch in a wine-induced haze and begin to process the fact that you have just BURNED through your most valuable commodity – precious, irreversable time – two hours of it, to be exact. You proclaim to your dog / group chat / pillow: “CAN SOMEBODY JUST MANAGE MY LOVE LIFE FOR ME?!”

News flash – somebody can. This somebody happens to be Emily Holmes Hahn of LastFirst Matchmaking, one of the early pioneers of the matchmaking movement and the only person I ever trusted to briefly govern my love life (read all about it here!)

Since I last spoke to Emily two years ago, the world has become a different place – a cultural mishmosh of female empowerment and chauvinistic rebuttal, of communal dating fatigue and a simultaneous quest for genuine human connection. Curiously, matchmaking happens to be on an exponential rise, with more (affluent, time-constrained) individuals choosing to delegate their love lives to the pros. I pinned Emily down to discuss what it’s like to be a love guru in the time of the swiping epidemic, “dating greed” and #MeToo.
Read More

Why Everyone is Talking About Celine (And Why It Matters)

Musings of the Mind · by Marina Khorosh

Hi friends!

Today, we will temporarily veer off our regular programming en lieu of a Fashion 101 that was requested by a handful of those who have yet to understand why their Instagram feeds are flooded with enraged commentary about the latest Celine show. Personally, I’m so excited that something other than Bella’s crop tops and Yeezy pantyhose has reached those with little interest in the fashion world, that I will gladly utilize my (waning) industry knowledge to decipher.

Let’s start with a quick crash course. Here is what you need to know before we proceed:

Most major fashion houses are owned by huge luxury conglomerates, the key players being LVMH (Louis Vuitton, Dior, Celine, etc.) and Kering (Gucci, Balenciaga, Saint Laurent, etc.) These parent companies hire creative directors (i.e. head designers), who, in turn, imbue the brands with their respective vision. Sometimes, the creative directors are celebrities in their own right (think Karl Lagerfeld at Chanel); other times they are behind-the-scene mavericks who are largely unknown to the public. Sometimes, they respect the inherent brand codes; other times they have their own, impenetrable vision. Like with any job, they can stay anywhere from one season to a few decades. The most important thing, to the suits-in-command, is that they SELL.