For every person who is naturally at ease with all things love and relationships, there’s a nerdy loser such as myself, who attempts to turn them into a science. Another (far more successful) nerdy loser happens to be Neil Strauss, author of “The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists”, a NY Times bestseller on “the most devastatingly effective techniques ever invented to seduce women.”
As you may remember, a week ago I posted a invitation to ASK ME ANYTHING (the offer still stands by the way!) Some of you guys took me up on this and sent over your questions, a few of which appeared rather similar, or at least interlinked. While I certainly don’t claim to have success in this arena, I will aim to answer them to my best extent!
Question #1
What is the best advice you can give someone who is new to the Parisian dating scene or what shocked you the most about dating in Paris?
I was recently walking around an expo at Grand Palais with two gay guyfriends, rambling on about some man-related internal debate I was having in my head, when one of them turned to me and said: “If you would just shut up and [BLEEP], you could be married to a billionaire in a month”. (The [BLEEP] part was a bit more NSFW, so use your imagination.)
His words were harsh, but they spoke the truth. You see, us women are wonderful creatures. We are beautiful and smart and communicative and caring and overall rather brilliant, with the exception one major flaw: most of us have absolutely no clue when to shut up. It appears that we all have conspicuous need to overanalyze and over-think, blurting out all the accompanying thoughts and feelings in the heat of the moment, which often triggers a natural male defence reflex to run for the hills. (Why do you think I’ve been living in France for so long? They don’t only understand 50% of what I’m saying, which technically, ups my chances at success.)
While we have all learned the Triple Thought Filtration System from La Yummy Mummy that teaches us exactly how to control our emotions, today I offer you a more thorough guideline on when you need to do it. Listen up, this is useful stuff!
After almost three years of living in France and analyzing how French women eat, breathe, play with their hair, and approach all other life missions with the effortlessness (read: laziness) that they are so renowned for, I can confidently say that I have successfully adjusted to their ways and even taken on some of their habits. A low-maintenance person by nature, I have been particularly keen on their approach the art of date dressing, dwindling down the prepping routine to a bare minimum. And so, I bring to you the French girl thought process of getting ready for a date, sprinkled with personal reflections for good measure.
I know you’re supposed to be what you eat, and how you act, and who your friends are. And yet, I firmly believe that a large part of who you are is what you do. A nobody at a bar can suddenly metamorphose into God via the word “cardiologist”, while a gorgeous stranger can diminish all his appeal by mentioning that he is a retail employee and a photographer on the side. (Unless you happen to be like me and are inherently attracted to losers.) In any case, I love to judge men by occupation, and today, I teach you to do the same via this brilliant little scorecard, positioned roughly by diminishing Dateability value.
They say Paris would be perfect without Parisians. “They” have clearly never heard of Paris Fashion Week, the one time of the year when this sleepy little village is flooded by fresh international blood, practically annihilating its French inhabitants and transforming it into an outpost of New York. Personally, I thrive on this for exactly three days – up until the moment when I am forced share my Le Progrès banquette with one to many Americans, all of which seem to have invisible loudspeakers tucked into their designer lapels. Nonetheless, it is undoubtedly a fun time in the city, providing endless opportunities to intermingle with the locals and spice up your dating palette. For those of you young fashion creatures visiting the City of Light and Love and seeking for a temporary distraction, I have created a guide that will help you utilize PFW to your romantic advantage.
