(NB: Please note that the author of this post took a good week to reflect on whether her “spirited” reaction to this topic stems from her own personal frustrations with her lack of “female energy,” dry fasting skills, and her overall laziness to become a JetSetBabe and snap up a life sponsor. She had concluded that this is probably true; has still decided to move forward with it.)
If you’ve been privy my (mildly unhinged) Instagram stories, you may have noticed that I recently developed an obsession with a blogger-slash-life-guru named Anna Bey. Anna is the founder of the website JetSetBabe and “online finishing school” School of Affluence, which teaches women to become “high-caliber women” and “navigate successfully in high society.” Those of you envisioning European royals and tech moguls, feel free to swap out that vision for greasy oligarchs atop mega-yachts. (Here’s a guide to being on a yacht, btw.)
At first, my fascination was that of pure entertainment. The articles were unapologetic-bordering-on-shameless, with titles such as “How to Look Rich on Instagram” and “Do You Meet More Men In First Class?” Was this a joke? A brilliant piece of satire? It was almost too easy to mock – and yet, impossible to look away.
Is this real or did I dream this up?!
Before long, I had immersed myself in the fascinating world of Anna, an Estonian woman who grew up in the equal rights haven of Sweden. After years of splitting the ice cream bill, she tapped into the novel concept of Benefactor Boyfriends, and the rest was Hermès history. Today, Anna is a bona fide thought leader and entrepreneur, spearheading an online community of like-minded women towards their “affluent” future. With a website and an affiliated program, she is a true 21st Century woman – paradoxically, preaching a variation of the oldest profession of all time. (You will soon find this entire predicament brimming with paradoxes.)
Having spent hours listening to Anna’s “self-transformation” tutorials on YouTube, I have come to like her. She seems like a nice person, and appears to be genuine in her desire to bolster women through her myriad of self-improvement tips. She is a positive thinker with a can-do attitude. She also has a resilience that one can only admire, for she has not allowed herself to be hindered by negative feedback. In fact, she has created a carefully-constructed line of defense for her “movement,” some of which is articulated in the below video.
Warning: Contains many paradoxes; viewer discretion advised.
This is where we run into a problem. Because, as much as I’m entertained by Anna’s content, I find myself perplexed by this righteous, quasi-feminist justification of her M.O.. After careful reflection, I have mapped out my counter-arguments, for my own sanity more than anything else. Read, review, share your reflections.
Argument 1: If our society accepts men using women as “sex objects,” why is it so taboo for women be use men as wallets?
Anna, Anna, Anna… It’s 2019. I know that those mega-yachts take you far off the 3G grid, but the past couple of years have been marked by the rise of a feminist movement that actively combats the notion of men using women as “sex objects.” Women all over the world are working hard to shift our culture to a new paradigm where we are upheld to a higher level of respect. That said, rhetoric that normalizes pejorative male behavior – and supports its female equivalent – feels slightly counter-progressive.
Remember when Donald Trump proposed that we arm teachers to combat gun violence? This seems kind of similar. As they tell you in kindergarten, an eye for an eye is never a good idea.
Argument 2: The fact that a rich man is paying for a woman doesn’t mean he is expecting sex back.
I call BS. In 99% of cases, when a man pays for you extravagant lifestyle, he expects sex back. All other cases are the exception and not the rule.
Even in the rare occasions when there are no physical expectations, there is still a certain loss of freedom involved. When I was young and dumb, I spent a weekend in the Hamptons at the house of some sheik’s nephew’s third cousin who liked to buy girls Chanel bags but “never touched them.” On the first night, we went to a club where the classy Monsieur made it rain with $20 bills, while the rest of us danced on banquettes like girl-puppets. En route back from the bathroom, I stopped to flirt with a bartender, only to find a burly bodyguard “advising” me to return to the table
You may think you are fooling or “using” these guys, but you are the one being used, whether it’s for sex, entertainment, or just to satisfy a flailing libido and reinstate the conviction that everything – and everyone – has a price tag. And, maybe, they do?
Argument 3: It is a woman’s instinct to look for the “best DNA carriers” to “ensure the survival rate” of her offsprings. #traditionalfeminism
This is where I want to toss in the red flag – or Hermès carré – for I don’t even know where to start. I want to talk about societal evolution, but I have a feeling that Anna believes in that as much as our government believes in climate science. I want to Google Esther Perel quotes on shifting gender roles. I want to make a case against the male-dominated, testosterone-driven, war-afflicted world we live in. But I also don’t want to waste my time and energy.
Instead, I will just say this: yachts and 40K bags are not going to ensure the “survival rate” for one’s children. They will only ensure them a prime spot amongst the Next Gen of Rich Kids of Instagram mini-dbags. Also, no woman who gives a rat’s butt about her kid’s well-being will look for an absentee oligarch as a parental figure. Sorry to rain on the Ben Franklin parade. Next.
Argument 4: True feminism is giving a woman the choice to be whoever she wants to be, rather than limiting her to one particular mindset.
This is the one I struggled with, for I am very much in favor of women doing whatever the f*ck they want, in 2019 and beyond. And yet, a line has to be drawn somewhere. To me, the public celebration of “using men as wallets” crosses that line.
I am fully aware that women dating men for their financial merit is an age-old concept. In fact, I have gone as far as defending it as an occasional vehicle of social mobility, particularly for post-Perestroika Russian women void of better options. However, this should be the exception, not the norm. Lifting the stigma off the gold-digging métier seems dangerous, as it will undoubtedly propagate its popularity – particularly, amongst impressionable young women who often lack the education, upbringing, and life experience to understand the true implications of this path.
Which are as follows. For every girl who manages to successfully “bag a billionaire,” nine others will end up running into precarious situations, being used and objectified, and eventually getting swapped out for younger models. Not only that, but they will also end up losing a vast amount of time sculpting, contouring, and censoring themselves to fit male “ideals” – a PIVOTAL time of their lives that could have been spent obtaining a real education and building a sustainable future.
We already popped open a Pandora’s box of shortcuts with the rise Instagram (more on this here). Do we really need another one?
Argument 5: There is nothing shameful about women being money-driven and caring about luxury goods.
Absolutely not! Last year, author Jessica Knol wrote a viral NY Times article entitled “I Want to Be Rich and I’m Not Sorry”, in which she quite unapologetically stated, “I want to make the kind of money that allows me to jet to Mexico on a Tuesday, to meaningfully contribute to nasty politicians, to afford a shark of a lawyer if any man ever lays a finger on me again.”
Women should strive to for money, as it is directly correlated to power, freedom and independence. However, this only applies when this money actually belongs to you, not a borrowed lifestyle that can be taken away at any given moment. That, in itself, is the antithesis of freedom.
Please chime in. I need opinions. I need a dry fast. I need CLARITY.
I don’t think you need clarity. It’s quite clear:)
Great writing though!:*
LOVE YOU
Or, you can be like MacKenzie Bezos and give away all his money! She did have to divorce him first though.
Yup – except I’m pretty sure she was with him pre-Amazon which takes her out of the equation. Good call though!
I have this love-hate relationship with the Anna. The topics that she has covered so far are contradicting each other. I have watched her videos at first purely because of curiosity. The thing is the topic that she previously mentioned like one year before is contradicting her current ones. I actually like her current topics better, but its just too confusing from my point of view.
I’ve been following Anna too out of pure anthropological curiosity. I even joined the Facebook group but unfollowed it two weeks later. Without any strong opinion on how (faux) feminist her views are, I’m just amazed how is that old as world idea is being presented as something new, brought onto the tabloids’ covers and TV shows and sold yet again as the self improvement program. Like hello, goldigging is probably thousands years old! She really worked on her line of defense though – I find it enjoyable how unapologetic she is. I believe she has Russian origins, by the way.
Hi! I think she’s Estonian, which, back in the day, was part of USSR. Such a good point on the “rebranding” of gold digging as self-improvement. The fact that she somehow connected the two makes her…moderately brilliant?
Your article is absolutely brilliant. This is the kind material that should be in magazines like Vogue instead of the endless stuff about Kate vs. Meghan…
I would develop point 2 which is basically about corruption and integrity – and can be applied to many fields in one’s life : whenever you put yourself for sale, even thinking you will fool the buyer, you are the one who has been fooled – always, that’s how it works, that’s basically Faust!
Thank you so much Charles!
Who knows, maybe she will find the right path in the end? I actually think she might be moving towards that. I also find it entertaining that I am sitting here, speculating about her moral journey..
Un artículo muy inteligente, explica la gran realidad de muchas mujeres que quieren tener poder rápidamente.
Gracias por esta lectura tan interesante!
Muchas gracias!
I have to admit that I am mildly fascinated by this person. After binge reading the articles on her website I found two favorites of mine: first the one where she advises women to get rid of their “average-Joe boyfriend” so that they can “level up” and find a rich guy It is so unapologetically awful that I read it the same way you look at a slow-motion car crash in a movie. Second there was the youtube video she did to advise teenagers with this logic: study a lot so that you can get into a good school, maybe even Ivy-league then use the time there to get to know rich people and study their behavior. THEN use your knowlege to find a rich guy! I mean you could of course use that amazing education to be successful on your own and pay for your own luxury- But I guess that would be crazy.
Hahahhahah I really enjoyed that summary. Also, I’m really sorry for getting you hooked on the best/worst reality show of all time.
Nailed it:
“For every girl who manages to successfully “bag a billionaire,” nine others will end up running into precarious situations, being used and objectified, and eventually getting swapped out for younger models. Not only that, but they will also end up losing a vast amount of time sculpting, contouring, and censoring themselves to fit male “ideals” – a PIVOTAL time of their lives that could have been spent obtaining a real education and building a sustainable future.”
Have to disagree with your article. You’re definitely looking at this from your experiences which haven’t been the experiences of many women with affluent men. Are you using movies and stereotypes of the affluent man as your judgement for how they act? It seems like it. I would guess besides your bad experience at a club, you haven’t known many affluent men or women of high society. It’s not nearly as imprisoning as you make it sound. I used to think this way too though. As I got older I realized that we shouldn’t be trying to change men. They are natural providers. Once you trust your male partner to take care of you how he desires to the relationship between you can reach a new level. Men desire being needed just as women desire being chased by men. Of course not everyone is this way but the vast majority are. Women in advantageous positions can work on themselves as well. It’s not a waste of time as you cultivate yourself, your connections, your passions, etc. I’d say you are more likely to be set up for success than the person exhausting themselves to progress out of pride or necessity.
Her real name is not e en that but aija raty so guess why someone hides their real name so much?
Anna is dating someone from a culture in which men have historically played the role she is preaching, but she is preaching it in a society where such roles don’t matter.
A self respecting woman in a western society can not stretch her palm out to a man and then expect equality afterwards.
Well…
1. You cannot STAY and be part of HIGH society if you aren’t level up. Of course you can enter BUT you won’t STAY and they won’t TREAT you as equal if you aren’t level up. sorry…(they are HIGH achievers and you don’t).
2. Anna wasn’t leveled up and saw that women who are classy STAY…because they don’t look like escorts. Escorts they can enter but never stay and be treated as equal.
3. If Aija/Anna is a scammer, it would be only if there are victims been scammed. So ONLY her students have the AUTHORITY to tell if they were scammed or not.
4. Only her students can tell if she is a scammer and take legal actions.
5. If she changed her name, who cares…a lot of people have done it as well.
So I would say her course should be called “How to enter and STAY in high society, 7 step formula “. I watched her old photos, she looked like an escort (i’m not saying she is or was in the past) but her looks wasn’t at point. So I think she had to do this transformation in order to stay there.
I think she did a GREAT job on herself, she looks AMAZING. And I don’t think their elegant ladies students feel scammed, her youtube channel is growing exponentially.
How many of you would date a guy 5” shorter? Why not? It’s 21st century the last I checked. No dinosaurs are running after you.
So women hear can laugh and claim that we live in 21st century, but if you look into actual research and the studies done, women still want protection and provision, not from trust fund party boys, but men who actually earned it.
Our mating psychology took 30,000 years to shape. How realistic is it to think that 50 years of feminist movement is going to change that?
How many of you are eager to, when say being mugged, to turn to your SO and say “don’t worry hon, I got this”.
here* (21st century and I still can’t spell)