The Case Against Instasluts (and the Men who Follow Them)

the case against instasluts dbag dating

The other night, my best friend and hubby-in-law, one of the most in-sync couples I know, had an argument. The reason? He had ‘liked’ some random girl’s selfie on Instagram – mouth open wide, staring into the mirror with an expression of blank stupidity on her  face – bref, the usual Instafuckme pic, just like the million others sweeping the Internet like some fast-spreading digital plague.

While I normally mock unreasonable jealousy, deeming it is a completely fruitless pursuit, this one hit a spot. To start, I would hardly call it jealousy – nobody actually thinks that their boyfriend/husband is going to run away with some girl who stacks her breasts on a selfie stick as a hobby. Rather, it is the idea of men virally following these girls – quite literally, like a bunch of dogs following a foul smell – that is unnerving.

This wasn’t the first time I had heard of this. During a trip to Russia a few months back, my childhood best friend complained about her husband’s questionable Instagram activity. Going through his phone, we discovered that 100 of his 200 followees were indeed Instasluts: gym selfies, car selfies, mirror in the mirror of a mirror selfies – how many reflective surfaces can these girls find? Please keep in mind that his wife is gorgeous and works very hard on retaining the same physique she had in high school when they met, after having two children. Granted, I did her a favor and unfollowed them all.

In the past few years, it appears that the number of professional Instasluts has spun out of proportion, their million+ followings driven by men who are often in committed relationships. I understand that men are visual creatures and this is technically just eye candy, a harmless distraction from the mundane, similar to Sports Illustrated or soft porn. Perhaps, it’s the continuity and accessibility of it that bothers me so much: while porn is time-sensitive pastime designated for a specific purpose, Instasluts provide men the opportunity to ogle tits and ass on every single crosslight, bathroom stall, business meeting, and kid’s dance recital. And something about that simply feels wrong.

Thoughts? Am I being crazy, bitter, jealous that my waist-to-hip ratio will never resemble a 4th grade math equation and my mirror selfie  will never garner 7,142,388 likes? I think I might be. But do I also have a point?

Let’s talk about this!

8 Comments

  • I think you have a point! I believe that in the case of your married friends, they have nothing to worry about, as I’m sure they’re beautiful and their husbands fell in love for a reason, but I hate to admit how many times I’ve succumb to insane jealousy watching the guy I’m with scroll down his IG feed to see countless girls in bikinis, or clingwrap instead of material dresses. Perhaps it’s a sign of my own insecurity but I believe that there’s no need to follow those accounts if you have a good girl already!

    • Hi Jenna! I couldn’t agree more – and, once again, I’m not even a jealous person by nature. Maybe its the idea that the guy constantly having visual stimulation to compare me too…? My own insecurities? I don’t know, food for thought..

  • Hi Marina,

    First of all I’d like to apologize for not making a good contribution to the subject discussed in the article. Although I am male, I am neither in a relationship nor am I fallowing one of those graceful females you mentioned. Therefore I don’t qualify for leaving a comment.

    But I like to thank you for all the time and work you put into this blog. Everytime I spend 3,5 minutes to read one of your posts I have a big, big smile on my face.
    I hope we se you around for a bit longer. Thank you!

    • Dear Ludwig,

      A – you are already a shining prince in my eyes for not following any of these “graceful females” as you so eloquently put it.

      B – thank you, thank you, thank you, a million times thank you. I am definitely sticking around, so please do so as well!

  • You definitely have a point!
    I think for men it’s like the digital equivalent of double-glancing another woman while on a date with his girlfriend or wife. And the passing woman endorses it by posting pictures of herself that beg for male attention (which kind of alludes to the bigger issue between females – like why do we feel like we have to compete?) because for her it’s the digital equivalent of stripteasing in public. It’s just rude.

    Perhaps if women had some Instamarket to buy into – maybe millions of Hugh Jackman look-alikes fixing broken facets, carrying grocery bags, chopping wood, buying dinner or fiddling under the hood (hehe) – men would understand. For now, we’ll suffer with every like the Instaslut gets.

    • Hahahha girl you’re a genius:

      Perhaps if women had some Instamarket to buy into – maybe millions of Hugh Jackman look-alikes fixing broken facets, carrying grocery bags, chopping wood, buying dinner or fiddling under the hood (hehe) – men would understand.

      This is brilliant – we really do need a male equivalent. Anybody up for the job?!

  • I have a new blog to shame them… hopefully I can get enough followers and make this a trend to call them out. Its not girls anymore, guys too are guilty of this.

    Follow my blog please! And feel free to submit anyone who should be shamed!

    http://outinginstawhore.tumblr.com

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