1 Month off Sugar, Alcohol and Dating: The Diary

Editor’s Note: As somebody who can’t scrape up enough willpower for a 1-day juice fast, I’m always impressed by people who can sustain self-inflicted torture for extended time periods. So, when I heard that a friend was planning a bona fide Cleanse Trifecta, in which she simultaneously ditches sugar, alcohol and dating, I begged her to keep a journal. One month later, the report is in! 

Preparation

It’s all happening. I got my starter kit for this month-long cleanse called Isagenix, and now have a kitchen shelf stocked with powders and vitamins where Nutella used to be. It’s very depressing, but then I look at a photo of a friend lost 15 pounds on it – she looks great. I imagine fitting back into my old clothes… It will be worth it.

I take a deep breath, read the cleanse guide, weight myself and take measurements. FML, I’m a lot bigger than I thought I would be! Then again, I gain weight evenly, so I guess didn’t realize how much I had gained. Anyway, it is all going to be ok. In the next 30 days, I’m going to regain control of my body and my life. No alcohol, no sugar, and, in light of my recent dating history, no dating apps or men.

You see, I recently stopped seeing somebody and I’m still not over it. We were dating for 3 months and I ended it because I didn’t feel like he was ready for a relationship. Of course, I fully expected him to reach out a couple of weeks later to tell me I’m “the One”.. Well, that didn’t happen. Since then, I’ve been seeking solace in dating apps: Raya, Bumble, League.. I’m a junkie, and this addiction has to go too. I delete the apps and make myself a nice protein smoothie to celebrate.

Week 1

I made it through week 1! Hunger wise, I’m doing okay. I have been exercising regularly and I’m starting to see changes in my body, so it’s worth it.

I’m surprised to discover that I miss alcohol more than I miss sugar. I really thought it was going to be the other way around, but I’m pretty social and going out without drinking definitely isn’t fun. Case and point: this week, a friend dragged me to One Oak (yes, that place still exists!) I had to stay up until 4AM, surrounded by people taking selfies and making videos of themselves singing. Meanwhile, I was sitting on top of the booth, sipping a bottle of water and quietly judging them.

It’s funny, I’m starting to realize I was using dating apps as a sort of coping mechanism / self-esteem pick-me-up / boredom solution. It’s like online shopping, but without the dent in my bank account. I find myself regularly reaching for my phone to check them – during commercials, in Ubers, or just anytime I felt bored – only to discover that they aren’t there. 

Also, I’ve completely forgotten how to interact with straight men. (I work in fashion and gay men are just nicer and prettier and funnier.) This revelation came yesterday, when a friend texted me saying that she was with a cute guy, and that I should come meet them. I did, but then I kind of ignored him… I mean, isn’t that what you do when you like someone? My friend instructed me to “flirt.” I tried, but the whole thing became more awkward with each passing minute. I mean, I was completely sober.. How can I flirt with a STRAIGHT MAN + IN PERSON + SOBER ?! This is a lot to handle.

Maybe it was too much to quit all 3 things at the same time? Then again, I’m a “go big or go home” kind of person, so I guess I’ll just stick to it and see.. Stay tuned for Week 2!

 

Week 2

This week, I had to do a 2 Day Super Cleanse, in which I was only allowed liquids. I barely had any energy and became antisocial. But then I woke up with a semi-flat stomach, so, no complaints. 

On the dating end, it’s nice to see how much free time I have, now that I’m not going on 5 online dates a week. I’m using it to focus on my skin regiment! I went to a places called SB Skin for a microcurrent facial that left me glowing like a baby.

Not much else to report. In fact, I still feel a bit lifeless, so I’ll stop here. Gotta save that energy for simple things, like getting dressed in the morning!

 

Week 3

Interesting week, to say the least. The beginning was great: my energy levels were up, I had lost weight, I had a photo shoot that went really well.. So there I was, feeling on top of the world, when I got a call from my boss, informing me that I was fired.

Yup. How’s that for a plot twist?

Now, the old me would have immediately started seeking comfort in food, alcohol, and, probably, men. But I’m too far in. I have taken pride in gaining control over my life and definitely don’t want to give it up. 

Instead, I got to work. In less than a week, I had a Plan A and Plan B, impressing even myself .

Ok, I have a confession to make: at some point, I downloaded Raya, then quickly deleted it after seeing that I only had a couple of messages. And still, there was an element of FOMO: what if one of them was “the one”?  I’m a romantic, so the idea of letting him vanishing into cyberspace was daunting. Silly, but daunting.

 

Week 4

IT’S OVER!! I managed to finish the full 4 weeks! 

Of all three “vices,” I definitely missed alcohol the most. I’m by no means an alcoholic, but going to all these social functions without at least a glass of wine is no fun. And yet, I really like the changes I’ve seen in my body (I’ve lost 15 pounds!) So, for now, I’ll limit myself to drinking once a week. I’ll also continue with the no sugar thing until I fit back into my old clothes.

It’s been so nice to take a break from dating. I was on such a mission to find someone, that, as cliché as it sounds, I lost myself in the process. It’s been great to rediscover who I am outside of the dating game, which often feels like a part-time job.

I always find it baffling when people talk about the excitement of first dates. It’s not exciting – it’s a numbers game. About 70% of the time there’s no chemistry (or they are just boring) and you just spend the mandatory 30 minutes exchanging resume stats. The other 25% is why Marina started this site to begin with: the range of crazies, psychos, weirdos and con artists you meet along the way. Then, finally, there’s that 5% chance of a Good Date: butterflies, endless talks, great kisses, the potential of something. The one that keeps you going.

And yet, at some point it all gets so repetitive that it’s nice to pause. Take a break. Reevaluate your approach to the whole thing. I was using dating as a crutch mechanism to not focus on other things, which is a pattern I don’t want to repeat. In fact, dating is not really my main focus at the moment.

By the way, I also got over my ex. Remember him? We were still on friendly terms, so this week I asked if I could pick his brain for some branding ideas. He immediately agreed. So there I was, expecting a casual call, when he called me WITH HIS BUSINESS PARTNER, ready to pitch their services. I quickly clarified that this was all in early stages, but he didn’t stop there. He kept asking me questions and trying to corner me into a meeting with him and his partner. When I finally hung up, I was so thrown off by the whole ordeal that I NEVER wanted to speak to him again! How’s that for the cherry on the sugar-free, gluten-free, wheat-free, taste-free cake?!

Talk about starting fresh. Minus 15 pounds, zero man baggage, and 1 new company (website is going live in June, sans “professional” branding!)

Spring has officially sprung!