While it may seem that I have gone completely mum on this blog regarding all things personal, I can reassure you that its for a pretty decent cause. While details must remain more classified than NSA affairs pre-Snowden, I have effectively managed to gather some valuable insight on slippery slope that is Level II dating, starting with a few faux pas that will send a man running for the hills faster than El Chapo. Feel free to apply selectively, or ignore altogether!
Cursing
I never knew this one to be a turn-off, until the guy I’m seeing subtly pointed out that I occasionally sound like the love child of a drunk sailor and Ari Gold of Entourage fame. Alas, what I had thought to be part of my Brooklyn street cred, a rough angle in juxtaposition to my soft soul (and other soft parts of me), is actually a small stab to this guy’s eardrums. By the way, the same applies to drinking and smoking and everything else Kate Moss has mislead us to believe is cool.
Selfies
I’m far from shy when it comes to social media (explore here), and yet there is a difference between the occasional long-legged, sun-kissed shot and a daily insight into your latte consumption and oh-so-casual 3/4 angle poses against brightly-painted doors. Unless you have managed to carve yourself a career based on taking selfies for financial revenue (blogger, influencer – no judgement, just jealousy), you have zero excuse.
Sloppiness
I feel very pompous on this one, as I am paradoxically neat. Neat to the point where I often Swiffer as a pre-bedtime activity, just for fun. Neat to the point that a French ex once told me that he could not handle being in my “hospital room of an apartment” in fear of destroying my meticulous order of being. Perhaps this is an extreme, but let me tell you something – nobody wants to play house with Little Miss Piggy, so get it together, girl!
Excessive sex (and ex) talk
I learned this one the hard way. You see, you may think you sound like the stuff 50 Shades of Gray bedroom fantasies are made of, but it turns out that no guy who actually likes you wants to hear about that threesome you conducted way back in college with your roommate and her crazy ex-boyfriend while tripping on MDMA. Principally, this is because they are visual creatures and this particular mental image makes them want to claw their eyes out. And don’t even get me started on the whole ex talk thing – you should know better by now!
Indecisiveness
How many times have you heard about men dating women in their 40s because “they know what they want”? Apparently, us females have a pretty bad rep when it comes to making up our minds, hence men are most pleasantly surprised by the rare anomalies that do. In my personal experience, men too seem to have trouble with decision-making, therefore I would like to go ahead and state that this one works both ways.
Principles
While decisiveness is a good thing, having too many inflexible principles (morals, values, whatever you choose to call it) won’t do you many favors. You see, at some point in their maturing process, every one of us comes to the realization that a successful relationship requires a shitload bucketload of compromise. (See, I don’t curse – I compromise!) And trying to compromise with a person with too many stubborn, obstinate principles is like banging your head against the Great Wall of China, with similar results.
High-maintenance demands
Sure, every (non-French) man want to work hard to buy the cow instead of getting the milk for free, et cetera, et cetera. And yet, no man thrives on knowing that there is a Graff diamond-level price tag that comes with a territory of dating you. Honor the little gestures, whether it is a home-cooked meal or a card or flowers (I think flowers are a big and beautiful gesture in our day and age, actually); make him feel all warm and cuddly inside. More good stuff will follow!
Yes this blog practically advocates the Stepford era. If you want some modernity, go read some Lena Dunham or something.
