Prelude: This is NOT a letter for the real dbags of this world, the men born lacking an inherent moral compass, the Dan Bilzerians who wear their douchiness on their Tom Ford sleeves, treating people like disposable commodities while preserving the capacity to sleep peacefully through the night.

This is an open letter to the Unintentional Dbag, the man with good motives who got lost somewhere along the way. The Unintentional Dbag was most likely a complete dork who couldn’t get a girl to save his life in high school. This freed up time for him to study, go to a good college, and do very well for himself, at which point he discovered that, in addition to great restaurants and prime real estate, money also has the power to buy the affection of tight-bodied young ladies vying for their first taste of caviar and Cartagena.

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Whilst moving back from Paris six months ago, I bitterly bid adieu to many things I loved – fresh croissants, Dries sample sales, cheap travel, men in great suits, the list goes on. In the midst of these misgivings,  one of the consolatory thoughts that kept me going was the knowledge that New York had evolved significantly over the years, propelling the rise of an entire new micro-oasis, equipped with its own cultural trends, sartorial codes, and my own personal form of male kryptonite – Brooklyn hipsters in all their disheveled glory! After months of extensive research via the powers bestowed upon me by Raya (who should probably pay me, at this point!), I am pleased to present the 10 Commandments that one should follow if attempting to navigate the wacky waters of this outer borough!

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When it comes to a new relationship, nothing is scarier than that first night of sleeping together. I’m not referring to copulation as much as the actual act of co-sleeping, a far more delicate process that immediately determines your subconscious chemistry and compatibility. Not only is there the fear that you won’t vibe well together (nothing is worse than an awkward little spoon feels), but there is also that hidden chance that your Prince Charming by day will turn into a Sleep Freak by night, falling into one of the following categories that every woman should have on her radar!

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