An Ode To My Twenties

A parting letter to my roaring twenties, conceived on the eve of my 30th birthday (with a glass of tequila in tow). 

Oh my twenties

You were a glorious ride 

A flash of YOLO moments

And denim shorts that exposed my behind

Of nights that started in a sober air

And ended up with man-tousled hair

First there was New York, the city that never sleeps  

Together we have many secrets to keep

Like the time I woke up in Astoria, Queens

With a man who fed me a breakfast of canned beans

Or the older boyfriend who drove a Porsche

And would trick me into making him borscht

 

Every night was a quest to make an impression

And boy did I try – that’s why we have fashion

With Star Mag as my guide, I went through the trends

And dressed like a stripper with zero amends  

For years I believed that leggings were pants

I blame Lindsay Lohan and her coked-up rants

 

We traveled in packs and shared a brain 

With our matching Chanel bags we would saunter to Butter and Cain 

Who needed Soul Cycle when you could dance on a banquette

Grinding up on a guy whose name you soon did forget

Spring breaks were made for Miami adventures

That’s when we coined the term ‘torventure’*

Life before iPhones – how did we exist?

No maps, no snaps, no ways to get home from your late-night tryst

 

Then there was Paris – a bit of a craze

Three years that flew by in a wine-soaked haze

Dating men who wore leopard and bitched up a storm

Blaming me for “American sins” I considered the norm

I studied by day and wreaked havoc by night

And even got in the occasional French street fight 

I stayed in in hostels and traveled on trains

Ditching adulthood and boozing away my brains  

 

Every day was unique and many lessons I learned

Some were a breeze, others left me burned 

For years I attempted to fit some mold

Then I finally said: “It’s okay to be bold!”

To do my own thing and listen to no one

Because life is too short for things left undone

 

But like every young love we must come to an end

I will always remember you, my crazy wild friend

We part with warm hearts and zero regrets

It’s time to move on now and place some new bets  

We had a good run but now we are through

So with a shot and a kiss I bid you adieu   

 

*Torventure: Turture + Adventure rolled in one. Ex: Hooking up with the hottest guy at Mint in Miami who happens to live in Boca Raton, resulting in $200 cab ride back to South Beach. 

If you didn’t have a sexy shoot, it’s like you never went out. 

If you didn’t have 10 shots, it’s like you REALLY never went out. 

Tights. Were. Pants.

Chanel bags were prerequisites. 

Clothing – and photo clarity – were optional.

Like, seriously optional.

Et voilà. Done now!