“I can only marry someone Jewish. Would you be open to converting?” asked the cute almost-stranger over a bottle of wine in the West Village.
It was our fourth date in the course of a week, a supersonic speed that he attributed to our electrifying connection and once-in-a-lifetime compatibility. A couple of hours prior, we had taken a romantic stroll through Central Park, where he had casually whispered things like “When it’s right, it’s right” and “I haven’t felt like this with anybody in so long.” A couple of hours later. we were in his bedroom. A couple of days later, he was history, filed away in the Land of Ghosts Past.
“But he said all these things! Why would he ask me about CONVERTING?!” I lamented to my friends in the aftermath. While I wasn’t particularly upset about the guy in question (4 dates does not love make), I was desperate to understand his rationale. After all, I was a grown adult who didn’t require a precoital engagement ring; why had he deemed it necessary to lay it on so thick? I didn’t know what was more humiliating – that, or the fact that I had fallen for it. Read More
Lola Rykiel, photo by Beth Garrabrant
It was early 2014 and I had just started documenting my journey through the murky waters of the Parisian dating scene via Dbag Dating, when not one but two people sent me an article entitled “New York Guys vs. Paris Guys.” It was written by a Parisienne named Lola Rykiel, who happened to be going through the flip side of my Parisian culture shock while living in New York City and channeling her experiences in her column on HarpersBazaar.com, Lola on Love. A few years later, Lola and I were introduced by a mutual friend, and since then she has become my go-to source for all things Parisienne, as recently documented on Vogue.com. The coolest thing about Lola (besides her keen knowledge of the best cocktail selection in downtown NYC) is her ability to delve deep into any subject matter and shed an alternate light on a topic in a way that only a truly insightful person can. In honor of today’s Bastille Day, we sat down to chat about trans-Atlantic dating discrepancies, the intricate art of self-love, and the ever-green enigma that is the Parisienne.
I recently had the pleasure of attending a friend’s wedding and hearing the father of the bride make a fantastic speech about meeting the groom for the first time. He first recounted the story of meeting his own wife, the bride’s mother, and immediately being thrown off-kilter by her penchant for warm hugs, a concept that had previously been lost on him. A couple of decades – and five daughters – later, he had become a seasoned pro at the fine art of hugging, when one of the girls announced that she was bringing home a boy. Her dad decided to greet the new boyfriend by enveloping him into a big bear hug, almost terrifying the poor kid into fleeing back to New York. (FYI, her dad is about 6’3.) And yet, not only did said boyfriend stick around, but he also went on to marry the daughter, ensuring himself a lifetime of trademark family embraces!
Politics, money, religion. Three topics the Miss Manners in you is supposed to steer the f*ck away from in all social predicaments where peace is prioritized. However, seeing as most interesting conversations inadvertently lead back to one of these three topics, sitting in front of someone with no opinions on politics, money or religion, would lead me to believe they are less of a Miss Manners and more of a Miss-Still-Waiting-For-That-GED.
Considering the befuddling progression of the current US election, political discourse, in particular, has become an integral part of every dinner conversation, secondary only to the menu options. That said, how does this affect the already-perplexing dynamic of dating, where two people are not simply exchanging opinions, but evaluating each other on those insignificant things such as, you know, compatible values? Are opposing political views a crystal ball of doom, or could they play into the whole ‘opposites attract’ adage? Curious to find an answer to these taxing questions, I decided to grill my friends, singles and couples alike, on their stance on this matter!
Photo by Corey Hayes
“You have to meet Jasmine Lobe. You guys write about the same thing and you would love her.” If I had a few bucks for every time I heard these words, I could probably afford a new pair of snow boots. (My desires these days are simple.) Googling Jasmine, I was hesitant. To start, she happens to be a much better – not to mention ballsier – writer than myself, having been granted none other than Candace Bushnell’s former sex column at the New York Observer. Secondly, she looks more like a Victoria’s Secret Angel than a regular human, making me wonder what we could possibly have in common. As it turns out, more than I thought! After meeting for a casual chat, Jasmine and I become fast friends, and I spared no time coaxing her into a Dbag Dating interview. Last week, we sat down at the Ludlow Hotel and quickly found ourselves in a moving two-hour conversation about feminism, the power of positive thinking and the stigma of showing the real you. Ladies and Gentlemen, I am proud to present to you the longest interview of all time with the one and only, amazingly talented The J-Spot columnist, JASMINE LOBE. (It’s worth every minute, I promise.)
Sometimes, friends have really, really good ideas. The kind you wish you would have had yourself, instead of launching a blog about dating douchebags and consequently making yourself both undateable and, most likely, unhireable. One such idea belongs to Lisa Winning, an Australian expat who went on to launch He Texted, a brilliant application that enables befuddled ladies (and gentlemen) to send in screen shots of their text message conundrums, to be deciphered by amateurs and experts alike. Today, Lisa answers our questions about common dilemmas, dating in the time of Tinder, and her favorite NYC meeting spots!