In which we delve into the innermost secrets of New York-based fashion journalist (and sporadic DD contributor) Rebecca Suhrawardi.
Your favorite qualities in yourself:
Well-read, well-traveled, loyal, honest, healthy, true to myself, talented, independent, smart.
Your favorite qualities in a man / woman:
Honesty, loyalty, health, ambition, talent, old-school values, humility, relaxed (no drama).
Deal-breaker in a man / woman:
Dishonesty, disloyalty, smoking or excessive drinking.
Your favorite date activity:
Anything adventurous! I love to try new things, going places I have never been, seeing things I have never seen, or even as simple as taking a different path on the hiking trail. I love the excitement and sensation of newness.
Your favorite date outfit:
I don’t give it all away on dates–I much prefer the inference of sexiness. Think loose, sheer blouses and a great pair of jeans paired with sexy heels. Or I’ll even do denim on denim and leave the shirt unbuttoned low paired with statement earrings for a little glamour and sleek heels. I usually will pair a sexy bra underneath so there is a peek-a-boo flash from time to time when the shirt’s openness slides here and there during dinner. It plays tricks on the guy–like “this girl looks like she just came of the ranch but yet she’s oozing sexiness…..” Mystery, ladies. It’s the basis of seduction. Don’t give them everything. Confuse them. Play with their senses. A little sparkle here, a little curve there, a little glimpse of lace for the imagination. Don’t try so hard. Don’t try so hard. Most of my date outfits are day outfits I amped up with the right amount of sparkle or a little sass.
Your favorite date food:
Anything that is easy to eat–and def without garlic!
Your favorite date experience:
I love, love, love traveling dates. Weekends away or a long break to someplace warm and adventurous. Even a local staycation at a nearby hotel is pretty amazing.
Your least favorite date experience:
When there’s a lot of attraction but no chemistry–leads to very awkward (and forced) conversation.
Your main relationship / dating fault:
I think I’m not outgoing enough, or perhaps don’t send the overt signals men are used to in this contemporary dating scene. Women in New York are so aggressive that men are used to women falling over them. They’ve been trained to do nothing and wait. And I am so old-fashioned and very feminine (I will unlikely ever approach a guy first), I am only interested in a man who shows interest in me. I want to be the one that is chased. It plays into my feminine instincts. Also, I am super selective. I would never go out with a different guy from Bumble every night of the week. So if I am sitting across from you looking happy and pretty, then that’s all you need to know that I’m into you. Because of the simple fact that I’m even talking to you, and you actually got me to take time out of my schedule to meet you.
Your idea of relationship happiness:
Two people who share the same values and the same hopes for the future. Two people who are best friends and yet love to take the piss out of each other. Two people who are spontaneous enough to get in a car and drive 8 hours to somewhere they’ve never been. Two people who are insanely attracted to each other–both physically and mentally.
Your idea of relationship misery:
When there is problem with dishonesty in a long-term relationship. You forgive the person but rebuilding trust is never as easy as it seems.
What natural talent you would like your partner to be gifted with?
What fault do you have most tolerance for?
Inability to cook. I can handle that.
What is your greatest relationship regret?
Staying in the wrong one too long.
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
I wish I were less passionate about my relationships.
If you could change one thing about your partner, what would it be?
To be more open to new things–whether it’s food, experiences, adventure, or travel. And also, I would have him on an IV drip of truth serum.
What is your favorite journey?
I took the most incredible road trip through mountains of Himalayas on the Karakoram Highway. My father went to boarding school in the foothills of The Himalayas to which he took my sisters and I to see. From there, we took a week or so to travel the treachorous, steep and stunningly beautiful highway (with military escort) all the way to (or near) K2. It was incredible to see all the villages, small cities, and micro-communities each with their own identities that have barely evolved, some in near-seclusion, for almost centuries. These towns were juxtaposed next to hundreds of miles of uninterrupted magnificent nature. Mountains so high, like you have never seen. Valleys so deep and lush, they looked like a fairy tale. Hardly an easy trip, though–the Karakoram is not designed for tourism. But worth every minute.
What is your present state of mind?
At this particular moment, I am slightly stressed but very hopeful. And appreciative. I appreciate all the little things I have in life. Like the fact I like in this great city, am healthy, have great friends, an excellent education, and that I live in a stable country without war.
What is your favorite dating advice / motto?
There is nothing you can do to change the biological instincts of males and females. These evolutionary traits–like the way we communicate or handle challenges or express our needs/feelings–have yet to shift in any significant way. Understand the basics of the sexes and you have all the tools you need for a successful relationship.