Hips Don’t Lie

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Slimane mafia strikes again.
 
Editor’s Note: Yesterday, we opened up a discussion about the man who refuses to eat, a disturbing phenomenon that is becoming increasingly common in today’s world. Let’s continue this thématique with an opinion piece by The Drama Magnet on men in France and their physical incompatibility to her Latina curves.

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Dear Men, Food is Not Your Enemy

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The other day, The Drama Magnet (I officially renamed her last night for pronunciation purposes) sent me an opinion piece on a topic I had planned to write about for awhile – the manorexic man. Joining forces, we decided to issue a plea on behalf of all the women who are growing increasingly tired of this new breed of male, proliferating the previously safe hetero zone with rapid speed.

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Dbag Destination : Antwerp

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Since the goal of this site is for you guys to live vicariously through our misadventures, I though I would add a little happiness to your cold and wretched Tuesdays (especially you, weather bitching New Yorkers) by giving you a recap of the lovely weekend Drama Magnet and I spent in Antwerp.

Just two hours away from Paris, Antwerp seemed like a perfect getaway destination to a place where people speak English and cigarette smoking is not a national pastime. En plus, there is a kick-ass Dries van Noten store and a Royal Academy fashion exhibit that was bound to nourish my Instagram feed for about a week.
The city was pretty much everything we expected – clean, pretty, boring in a way that is relaxing for the first day and then starts giving you FOMO anxiety that progressively increases with every passing hour.

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The Boy Who Cried Love

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Illustration by the multi-talented Mr. Fernando Diaz of Wolves – listen to them HERE!

Sometime in the middle of the endless Winter of 2013, my hubby-in-law called me, sounding way more excited than usual.
“I found the perfect guy for you, and he is sitting right in front of me,” he proudly announced.
Knowing all too well that the guy in mention was probably listening to me on speaker, I didn’t attempt to obtain any supplementary information. Instead, I agreed to meet my potential soul mate for a drink later that week, knowing nothing but his first name (Jewish, rhymes with Theo) and age (25 – not ideal, but tolerable to my 26). In a completely atypical move, I didn’t even attempt any basic Facebook stalking, deciding to let fate take its course.

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A Suede Trench and a French Penis

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Editor’s Note: Today, I bring to you to a very important contributor to this site – The Drama Magnet. (You may remember her as my partner in crime from the blog introduction, the Lady Gaga to my Miley, so per say.)

Prior to moving to Paris in 2011, the The Drama Magnet resided in Los Angeles and New York City. Albeit a longstanding history of dancing side by side at Goldbar throughout all of the late 2000’s, we only became friends years later, united by a mutual quest for life’s basic necessities (decent gym, men, customer service) in a place where they cease to exist. Of Latin American origin, the Drama-Gnet has a much lower threshold to the masochism that is Paris, thus making her experiences in this glorious city far more poignant than my own. 

Oh, she also has a few Master’s degrees, and the capacity to cite Hemingway.

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Dbag Dating : Deconstructing the Myth

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In September of 2012, I did what most overworked, burned-out New Yorkers secretly dream about. I quit my fashion PR job, packed my life into a storage cell in Downtown Manhattan, and moved to Paris. Similarly to most life-upheaving decisions, the move was spurred by a recent breakup, an event that had left me simultaneously heartbroken, confused, and determined to follow the advice of every pink-covered airport bestseller and seize control of my life by making The Grand Change.

I first fell in love with Paris when I came there with my best friend in August 2008, the summer we somehow convinced our parents to let us to philander around the South of France under the pretense of “studying abroad.” We soon discovered the Côte d’Azur to be more of a Maxim Top 100 screening than the Fitzgerald-esque adventure we had anticipated. To liquidate all competition, we decided to flee to Paris, where I managed to find the one native (and biggest Dbag) left in the city that weekend. The rest is a sad story reserved for another time. However one good thing did come out of it: my newfound, unparalleled love for his native city.

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