How to Get Through a Breakup (Lessons from The Loony Bin)

Typecasting · Paris · by Marina Khorosh

I have no clue what kind of tricks God and Susan Miller are playing on us, but lately I feel as if the whole world has lost its mind. Since I live in a current event-free bubble that floats somewhere between Style.com and my Instagram feed, by “whole world” I mean my friends. Ever since last Sunday, I have been bearing witness to some sort of mass heartbreak limbo, which entails all my friends getting dumped and then blowing it WAY out of proportion by engaging in ridiculous behavior. At this point, I feel like I’m operating a boutique mental institute, checking in on their status at least 3 times a day and keeping them all under the same roof, with one administered chaperone present. Luckily, my patients make for some really interesting case studies, which will make for even more interesting content for you guys! And so, without further ado…

Things I Miss (and Don’t Miss) About New York Men

Typecasting · New York · by Marina Khorosh

Yes, I realize that this is a redundant topic and that this blog is in danger of becoming a Travelocity guide for single promiscuous globetrotters. You will have to bear with me on this one, as I recently returned from New York and am currently experiencing serious withdrawals, causing me to tear up during Project Runway zoom-ins of the Manhattan skyline. I suppose that deciphering the city’s male inhabitants is my attempt to feel closer in spirit.

Going back to New York, I occasionally question what it is that made me move to Paris in the first place. Suddenly, I’m in a legitimate first world city, with excellent customer service and people who don’t consider complaining to be a national sport! Fueled by super foods and Soul Cycle, my energy levels rise to turbo-speed, and I begin accomplishing more in one day than I do in weeks in Paris. The men, who suddenly come in all shapes and colors and sizes, provide a refreshing contrast to the monotonous Frenchies, in both their attitude and demeanor.

However, a few days into it, my acai-kale-hemp-fueled-high (what exactly is hemp, anyway?) begins to lift and I start seeing things from a slightly more sober perspective. Perhaps, the green juice really is always greener on the other side. Lets take a look.

No More Hipsters

Typecasting · New York · by Marina Khorosh

The other day, my happily married friend sent me a picture of her adorable 6-month old baby. In a moment of hormonal weakness (tainted by being yelled at in French three consecutive times), I wrote back “I want one toooo!” This was an outburst I immediately came to regret, as the remainder of the conversation went somewhat like this:

Married Friend: “So do it! Get it done!”

(Cause its just that easy..)

Me: “How?!”

MF: “Stop fucking around. Stop tindering losers.”

Me: “Ok. Give me a game plan.”

MF: “1. Move 2. Stop it with the artsy fartsy boho losers. 3. Learn how to cook. 4. Stop going out with losers!!!!!!! Stop hanging out with them stop being seen with them. This is the most vital step. It cannot be repeated enough – 2 and 4 are key.”

The Single Girl in Paris’s Guide to End Of Summer Dressing

DD x Vogue · Paris · by Marina Khorosh

As a single girl, I thrive on summer. It’s the one season where I have a distinct advantage over the coupled-up part of the population: the advantage of total freedom, of carefree vacation flings, of momentary lapses of judgment that make me feel eighteen all over again.

Read on HERE!

The Dbag Dating Guide to Italian Men

Typecasting · Italia · by Marina Khorosh

Of all the men on the planet, it appears that nobody drives women crazy like the Italians. The mere thought of a trip to Italy seems to send most of my girlfriends into daydream overdrive, as they envision themselves succumbing to the charms of a tall, dark-haired Fellini hero. Personally, I remain skeptical. Something about these fellows’ overly confident attitude makes me mistrust them, not to mention that the lyrical falsetto makes it impossible to understand anything they are attempting to say. Why do they have to sing out all their sentences?

The Story of Ronaldo

I Know How To Pick'Em · Ibiza · by Marina Khorosh

Perdono for the sabbatical, guys – I have been on vacation for the past two weeks, which was supposed to inspire me to write more, but has instead inspired me to drink more and completely abandon all cerebral activities. Luckily, I did happened to stumble upon a fun story, the kind of random vacation encounter that leaves one yearning for summer all year long and posting #tbt beach pics until the month of May. Said story takes place in Ibiza, the official party capital of the western hemisphere and quite possibly that Hopeless Place that Rihanna was referring to in that song. Of all the things one can find in Ibiza, non-chemically-induced love appears to be pretty low on the lists.