Q&A: Jasmine Lobe, The J-Spot Sex Columnist

“You have to meet Jasmine Lobe. You guys write about the same thing and you would love her.” If I had a few bucks for every time I heard these words, I could probably afford a new pair of snow boots. (My desires these days are simple.) Googling Jasmine, I was hesitant. To start, she happens to be a much better – not to mention ballsier – writer than myself, having been granted none other than Candace Bushnell’s former sex column at the New York Observer. Secondly, she looks more like a Victoria’s Secret Angel than a regular human, making me wonder what we could possibly have in common. As it turns out, more than I thought! After meeting for a casual chat, Jasmine and I become fast friends, and I spared no time coaxing her into a Dbag Dating interview. Last week, we sat down at the Ludlow Hotel and quickly found ourselves in a moving two-hour conversation about feminism, the power of positive thinking and the stigma of showing the real you. Ladies and Gentlemen, I am proud to present to you the longest interview of all time with the one and only, amazingly talented The J-Spot columnist, JASMINE LOBE. (It’s worth every minute, I promise.)

Would You Date a Man Who Wore More Jewelry Than You?

DD x Vogue · by Marina Khorosh

In the Venn diagram of men and jewelry, there used to be but a narrow overlapping sliver reserved exclusively for rock stars and Johnny Depp, those few shining examples of men granted public permission to adorn themselves with more sparkle than a Vegas showgirl—without jeopardizing their masculinity. Up until recently, that is, when this space began rapidly expanding to welcome men from all walks of life. The proof is everywhere: A dating app swipe session yields innumerable man-bunned surfers displaying their tanned, tattooed, accessorized forearms; a visit to a Williamsburg, Brooklyn, bar has me asking a guy where he purchased the coin pendant hanging from his neck (so that I might snap one up as well); a ride up an escalator in a midtown office building reveals a banker channeling his inner Burning Man aficionado via carefully curated Miansai bracelets. (Let’s not even get started on Depp, whose accessories game officially jumped the shark when he collected a People’s Choice Award with no less than four safety pin–style earrings—in one ear!) And while I’m all about men embracing fashion, this particular manifestation leaves me slightly conflicted: Is mutual accessory approval yet another evaluation criteria to add to the already complex endeavor that is modern dating?

The French Girl’s Guide to Holiday Gifting

DD x Vogue · by Marina Khorosh

Note to self: Never buy a French woman a water pitcher for Christmas.

Last December, a Parisian girlfriend received a simple glass carafe from a man she had just started dating, his reasoning being that she was “always thirsty.” This well-intended household object served as a running joke for months to come, earning the poor fellow endless mockery among her inner circle. The gift, she explained, was “impersonal, generic, and banal,” making it the worst of all French evils. Turns out, holiday gifting is yet another endeavor that the French have elevated to an intricate art form, one that doesn’t stand for shortcuts—or, evidently, water pitchers.

The No-Cuffing Guide to Winter Survival

Those Who Can't Do, Teach · by Marina Khorosh

Do you remember Jessica and Elizabeth Wakefield of Sweet Valley High, i.e. the Jekyll & Hyde of the paperback series generation? Jessica was a dazzling and ruthless b*tch who could mesmerize any man with one impeccably-calculated stare. Her twin sister, Elizabeth, was a mind-numbingly boring model citizen who scared off men with her prudishness (all with the exception of one basic vanilla boyfriend named Todd). They looked the same, but they were polar opposites.

I have come to the conclusion that Jessica and Elizabeth Wakefield are the Summer and Winter Me.

The Rise of the Star F*cker

Typecasting · by Marina Khorosh

When I was a little girl, my mother urged me to work hard and do well in school so that I would grow up and get a good job and make heaps of money and never have to depend on a man to support me. (The result? Questionable, although I can assure you that no man has ever so much as hinted at his desire to support me.) To the best of my recollection, never did she advise me to get a good job and make lots of money in order to attract a man, which goes to show that the world may have changed dramatically over the past 20+ years.

The Dbag Dating Guide to Southern Boys

Typecasting · by Marina Khorosh

Who else remembers Joaquin Phoenix as Johnny Cash, cajoling Reese Witherspoon into agreeing to marry him in front of a mass audience? “June, you’re my best friend. Marry me.” he poignantly drawled, and the crowd cheered, and our hearts skipped a beat, and Southern men were never the same again.

This vision was fresh on my mind when I headed down to Nashville, Tennessee over the Winter Break, joining some friends in the exploration of all things country, cowboys included. Always on the investigative prowl, I made it my mission to talk to as many lads as possible, mainly by forcing them into the popular local activity of playing pool. (The other option would have been the popular local activity of singing karaoke, but I usually reserve that for enemies that I want to leave deaf.) Below is my takeaway, spruced up with some notes from an anonymous southern friend!