Five decades after the first women’s rights activists burned their bras in a brave statement against female oppression, a new feminist wave has risen. From comedians like Amy Schumer and Lena Dunham creating bold female-centric content, to actresses such as Jennifer Lawrence and Emmy Rossum spearheading the fight for equal pay, to designers including Maria Grazia Chiuri and Miuccia Prada sending feminist-theme collections down the runway, this is a fight that has been brewing for years. Women have never been more resolved to equilibrate the ground we stand on once and for all, a quest that saw the fruits of its labor when Hillary Clinton won the popular vote in November.
And yet the path to success is never linear. Despite all the attained growth, the recent Electoral College victory of an unabashed male chauvinist to America’s highest office of power has pivoted us back to a battlefield we thought we had left behind. “I think before the election, misogyny was very prevalent but it was more insidious. Now it’s in your face and blatant,” says Observer sex columnist Jasmine Lobe. “When [Donald] Trump said, ‘grab ’em by the pussy,’ he validated men’s bad behavior. I felt this new sense of danger and lawlessness.” In Trump’s America, misogyny is not only commonplace, it’s condoned.
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“I give up,” proclaims a girlfriend, flinging her cherished iPhone 7 on the table as though it were an explosive device. Given the rate at which it is spewing out a stream of notifications, stemming from none other than five dating apps (full disclosure—she has a separate folder), it certainly seems like a threat to one’s sanity at the very least.
Over the past year, online dating fatigue has become a justifiable phenomenon that is forcing more single people to adopt a blasé approach or even abandon it altogether. In addition to the stupefying abundance of options, there is the deteriorating quality of interactions and consequent dates. In the off chance that you manage to break the virtual barrier and coordinate a physical rendezvous, there is a high likelihood the person will have mentally checked out by the second cocktail, eager to swipe on to the next B-list bikini model. With dating apps as our metaphorical free pass, we appear to be zipping through this dystopian carnival of love with our trademark extremism, only to be confronted by an ardent sense of nausea at the end of each ride.
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As anybody who has ever dipped into the perplexing landscape of modern romance knows, keeping up with the associated vernacular is about as challenging as keeping up with the latest denim trend, and a lot less enjoyable. First came “ghosting,” the vanishing act that made it normal—if not exactly acceptable—for the object of one’s once-reciprocated interest to disappear into the abyss without as much as a mere warning. Now comes its commitment-phobe cousin, courtesy of New York Magazine writer Jason Chen: “benching,” a sports-inspired furthering of the concept of leading someone on. It entails keeping someone hanging for extended periods of time, occasionally throwing them a bone in the form of a casual text, while never allowing for the relationship to transition into anything remotely substantial (i.e., keeping a player on the bench as a backup while you pursue others whom you might prefer to, shall we say, “put in play” first).
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Liberté, égalité, fraternité—liberty, equality, fraternity. In our tumultuous, often unpredictable world, one must honor any reason to celebrate these three guiding principles of human camaraderie. Since most of us cannot exactly ring in tomorrow’s Bastille Day by frolicking around revolutionary stomping grounds, we propose that you do the next best thing and channel your inner French citoyenne through the wardrobe staples that truly speak to her liberal spirit—her accessories. Just like the emblematic national motto, the Parisienne’s approach to accessorizing is part of her inherent independent sensibility, rooted in timeless style and personal pieces that truly connect with their owner. A French girl usually goes for discreet, carefully selected accessories that never adhere to trends or overwhelm her outfit, but instead relay her personal story, one unique detail at a time.
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Few things beat a great summer date. Be it with your future life partner or merely a fleeting romantic interest, there is something incomparable about that long, breezy, post-dinner stroll through still-warm city streets, feeling like the protagonist of your own indie film. Granted, no nirvana is complete without the perfect outfit, which is where things get tricky, at least for me.
With effortlessness being the ethos of summer, even the most innocent attempt toward allure—such as a black liner, or a heel—feels unnatural in our global warming–induced heat. And yet it’s not like I can allow my inner romantic ingenue to show up to a date in my usual summer uniform of denim cutoffs (i.e., an object of near-constant mockery among my friends). This inner turmoil leads me to believe that summertime date dressing abides by a completely separate sartorial code, one that I have yet to master. And who better to help me than the ever-effortless Parisiennes, originators of the Pinterest Holy Grail of summer romances, from Jane Birkin’s eyelet-clad beach frolics to Romy Schneider’s PG-rated La Piscine ensembles?
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Love and acceptance go hand in hand. Having learned this lesson through trial and error sometime in my mid-20s, I made sure to apply it to the continuation of my dating career, a mission that proved to be particularly difficult when faced with men of, how shall I put it, questionable sartorial aesthetics. From square-toed shoes to violently patterned Carhartt sweatshirts to Givenchy skirts artfully layered over leggings, I encountered—and practiced Buddhist levels of patience on—men of all stylistic visions. Yet, no PC approach could have prepared me for the prospect of bringing a certain Yamamoto cape–donning ex to a family dinner. In what I still consider to be one of my weakest moments, I resorted to the trusted-yet-cowardly “it’s not you, it’s me” cop-out, figuring it was for the greater good of sparing him my Russian father’s inquisitive stare. Months after our breakup, I wondered whether I had been too rash in disregarding an otherwise excellent human based on something as superficial as his outerwear. After all, isn’t there an entire school of thought centered around the notion that a man’s wardrobe eventually becomes a reflection of the tastes of his significant other, a sartorial spinoff of the popular “Behind every successful man is a great woman”? And so I turned to a group of women with far better track records than I in the dating department to see if a man’s tastes, or at the very least his wardrobe, can, indeed, be changed.
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