Q&A: Lisa Winning, Co-founder of HeTexted

Lisa Winning Dbag Dating

Sometimes, friends have really, really good ideas. The kind you wish you would have had yourself, instead of launching a blog about dating douchebags and consequently making yourself both undateable and, most likely, unhireable. One such idea belongs to Lisa Winning, an Australian expat who went on to launch He Texted, a brilliant application that enables befuddled ladies (and gentlemen) to send in screen shots of their text message conundrums, to be deciphered by amateurs and experts alike. Today, Lisa answers our questions about common dilemmas,  dating in the time of Tinder, and her favorite NYC meeting spots!

How did the idea for HeTexted come about?

HeTexted as a concept really already existed in pop culture, and with women universally. I kept noticing it as a phenomenon, specifically, that women love talking about their relationships, in depth. I mean universally as in – I’m from Sydney originally and I would hear women asking other people for advice about their boyfriends or guys they’d just met, and then I heard the same conversations in the Middle East, in London and most of all in New York. So it already existed as this off line human behavior and I wanted to reflect that with a web product, books, TV and a movie.

What types of questions do you most often receive on HeTexted?

I love the variety and that you never stop being surprised. Girls are often asking about how to get over someone, how to get a guy to leave them alone, how to ask out another girl. Tinder is a big situation too…

What is the craziest question or situation you ever had to deal with?

One of our users was dating a well known athlete and every time she asked one of HeTexted’s advisors for feedback, everyone was getting more obsessed by the story.

Do you feel as though girls generally tend to over-analyze their relationships?

Yes, for sure. It’s part of the pleasure of being human and how women connect with other women. We talk about our lives and the issues we care about most, usually relationships, and we seek advice, at length!

Who do you thing gives better advice, women or men?

It definitely depends on what you want. If you want the cold hard truth perhaps ask a guy for his take. Most of the time I ask my guy friends about love, because it’s fun to hear how the other half lives…

Do you think dating in our digital age is easier or more difficult, given all the different dating apps and informational flow via social media?

I mean, it’s a mine field, especially if you want it to be. Everything in our lives is increasingly digital so there’s an inevitability to your personal life being infused with online interactions, your Google history, Instagram. But in person experiences are obviously rewarding, and profound and actually make you feel something in a way that chatting through your phone doesn’t. My take? Put down your phone!

You have lived all over the world. What is dating in New York like, compared to London and Sydney?

Aussies and Brits don’t usually tend to date lots of different people which seems to be more of an American thing. Can I say that? Actually I feel a bit provincial in terms of really only ever falling for one person at a time and then putting all my eggs in their basket. I think for Americans, especially in NYC, dating can be a bit more like a sport, kind of like hedging bets.

Name your 5 favorite spots in New York (with meeting potential!) 

1. ABC Kitchen is so zen – it’s beautiful, and chilled out. The acoustics are great too.

2 Locanda Verde has to be the most romantic restaurant when it’s cold out in NYC.

3 I’m still a big fan of Rose Bar. Especially on a week night.

4 The Museum of Natural History’s Butterfly Room is out of this world.

5 Dinner parties at home. I’m a terrible cook but love having people over for dinner and poker.

If you had to ask yourself a HeTexted question, what would you ask?

How do you open your heart up more and more?

(That’s a good one!)

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