Editor’s Note: The idea for this post came to me the other day while standing in line for the Elie Saab show, watching a gaggle of people, mildly resembling insane asylum escapees, practically performing circus routines in an effort to catch the attention of street style photographers. Suddenly, a refreshingly straight male appeared à la Prince Charming, handing me my show invitation, passed along by a very generous friend. Looking around the normally serene Tuileries gardens, he turned to me and muttered something hilarious and British that was quickly left forgotten. However, the main message was clear: what was mind-bogglingly cool to the fashion set was simply mind-boggling to normal straight males.
While I did not recruit the Brit for this endeavor, I did manage to solicit the commentary of a very entertaining male French friend, who, despite knowing way too much about fashion, still remains sexually attracted to the opposite sex. Without further ado, here is his take on some of the more “unique” street style looks of the fashion month.
1. Thom Browne’s shows are a highlight of any fashion week. They crazy, they don’t make sense, they are pharaonic and they always make us forget about the clothes. The problem is, when you take a part of it out of the setting, you just look like a cat woman with no leather on. And who gives a f*ck about cat woman without leather on? You’re trying too hard.
Editor’s Note: What about a mouse woman? Wait, is this a cat-n-mouse game she’s playing? Wait..aren’t those bunny ears?! This is all way too conceptual for me.
2. This one is London fosho. That is the only place where you can afford to look like you left Vegas with somebody’s chips while wearing 1920’s Pigalle girl boots and a blanket and still be cool. She’s got 3 dudes behind missing a – their bus and b – their crack sale (or whatever dude in the middle holding his member/flashing a gang sign is doing). Da Girl’s fine.
3. This is the new generation of fashion buyers: fluo Nike shoes (“cause we’re real girls, ya know”) + an outfit by an “up-and-coming” designer from Iceland (probably sewing in his mother’s basement, with his mother as an assistant). While mixing designers and price ranges is part of fashion, the fact you can see a variation of this girl at Silencio, la Perle or Chez Janou – all in one day during PFW – makes the look, ironically, all too familiar.
4.This one is a moving rebus puzzle.
Alternatively, remember your least favorite aunt, the one who lived in Hertfordshire? Remember her 74th birthday, and how her “Sunday outfit” matched the curtains and the floral tablecloth? Yeah, you got it.
5. A tremendous part of fashion and style is acting “as if”. So, when we see this girl, we are supposed to act like her outfit is totally normal, wave at her, and ask her what’s up. However, this will eventually lead to her crying into her granola and chai latte because we didn’t recognize the originality of her look. (EN: chai lattes are so passé, you French person. It’s all about hemp milk now.) Girl, let me tell you – you look like a napkin after eating squid ink pasta.
6. What do you do when you can’t dress to save your life? You ask Jeremy cott to camouflage your shit tastes with his.
As a result, you end up looking like this:
Co-written by Antoine Zucchet. Pictures stolen from Style.com, Vogue.com and Le21eme.