Hips Don't Lie - DBAG DATING

Slimane mafia strikes again.

Editor’s Note: Yesterday, we opened up a discussion about the man who refuses to eat, a disturbing phenomenon that is becoming increasingly common in today’s world. Let’s continue this thématique with an opinion piece by The Drama Magnet on men in France and their physical incompatibility to her Latina curves.

I have never been considered a tiny girls by any standards. In fact, I like to think of myself as a curvy girl who’s skinny self is just waiting to come out one day. Unfortunately, this day doesn’t appear to be coming up anytime soon, especially considering that there is an amazing boulangerie on every corner of Paris. The sweet smell of freshly baked bread and pastries draws me in just like flute of the Pied Piper of Hamelin drew in the rats.. Sad but true.

When it came to men, I never had a specific type. For most of my tweens, I considered blonds like Nick Carter and Leonardo DiCaprio to be the pinnacle of male beauty. This blond obsession continued as I sang MMBOP on replay and fell in love with the middle Hanson brother. I think it may have been the lack of blonds in my surroundings that triggered this obsession, because I quickly got over it once I hit US soil and blond men became as common as hamburger joints. In the Land of the Free, I gave equal opportunity a shot, and began dating many different types of men. I certainly never considered weight to be a criteria for my choice of a partner, at least until I moved to Paris.

Yes, I wanted it that way.

One day, at my Parisian office, one of the interns started talking about her crush on Channing Tatum. Suddenly, two colleagues jumped in on the conversation and revealed something no women outside of this country have ever said before – apparently, to them, Channing looked too big and ‘American’, and such men were just “très vulgaire”.

Too big? It’s not like he’s The Rockhere..

That is when I realized what may be part of my problem with French men – they just don’t do it for me physically. Overall, they are good looking guys, with handsome faces, good sets of hair,and innately decent style. But (and this is a big BUT), they also happen to beTINY. Tiny little hands, twelve-year-old boy hips, skinny legs… I can’t handle it. They make me feel like Jennifer Lopez during her Mark Anthony stage, like I accidentally may asphyxiate them, and not in a kinky ’50 Shades of Grey’ kind of way.

Call me crazy, but am I the only girlhere looking to actually feel protected when a guy hugs her? Since when is it attractive for men not only to act like women, but also look like us? This whole metrosexual thing is spinning out of control and becoming the effemination of men.

In fact, sometimes I feel like my boobs have dropped down to my pelvic area and become man balls – bienvenue à Paris.